I wannas sexs uuuuu
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
