maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
