I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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