my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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