He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
