Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
