I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
