I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
