I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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