No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
