I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i've created a new STD.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
