This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
someone owes me an orgasm
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
