Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
