real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
