i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
