i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
