I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
