Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
