...so i touched it.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
