Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
