Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
