The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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