There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Randomize
