the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
