i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
