my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
