He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
3 2 1 whiskey
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
