even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
