She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize