No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
