He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
