hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
