she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Also, beer. Big fan.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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