I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
