meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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