he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
