as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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