STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
