This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
