We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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