If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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