If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
