so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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