Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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