I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
