Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
