U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You can't just leave with hair like that
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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