I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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