Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
