so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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